My Mother-in-law Must Be The

Women Want Men, Careers, Money, Children, Friends, Luxury, Comfort, Independence, Freedom, Respect, Love, And A Three-dollar Pantyhose That Won't Run.

A Terrible Thing Happened To Me Last Night Again—nothing.

If It Weren't For My Adam's Apple, I'd Have No Shape At All.

[on Plastic Surgery:] When I Die, God Won't Know Me. There Are No Two Parts Of My Body The Same Age.

Self-pity Is Better Than None.