As Long As You're Working,

People Are Always Asking Me When I'm Going To Retire. Why Should I? I've Got It Two Ways - I'm Still Making Movies, And I'm A Senior Citizen, So I Can See Myself At Half Price.

My Best Advice: Fall In Love With What You Do For A Living.

I Don't Believe In Dying. It's Been Done. I'm Working On A New Exit. Besides, I Can't Die Now - I'm Booked.

Everyday Happiness Means You Can't Wait To Come Home, Because The Soup Is Hot.

I Use The Cigar For Timing Purposes. If I Tell A Joke, I Smoke As Long As They Laugh And When They Stop Laughing I Take The Cigar Out Of My Mouth And Start My Next Joke.