I Can't Understand Why I

Just Because You're Old That Doesn't Mean You're More Forgetful. The Same People Whose Names I Can't Remember Now I Couldn't Remember Fifty Years Ago. . .

I Don't Care What You Do For A Living. If You Love It, You Are A Success.

In What Other Business Can A Guy My Age Drink Martinis, Smoke Cigars And Sing? I Think All People Who Retire Ought To Go Into Show Business. I've Been Retired All My Life.

Happiness? A Good Cigar, A Good Meal, A Good Cigar And A Good Woman - Or A Bad Woman; It Depends On How Much Happiness You Can Handle.

None Of Us Kids Had A Middle Name. We Were Lucky We Had Any Name At All. By The Time My Mother Got Around To Naming One, There Was Another On The Way.