I Was Always Taught To

Nice To Be Here? At My Age It's Nice To Be Anywhere.

I've Been A Straight Man For So Many Years That From Force Of Habit I Repeat Everything. I Went Out Fishing With A Fellow The Other Day And He Fell Overboard. He Yelled, Help! Help! Help! So I Said, Help? Help? Help? And While I Was Waiting For Him To Get His Laugh, He Drowned.

If You Ask What Is The Single Most Important Key To Longevity, I Would Have To Say It Is Avoiding Worry, Stress And Tension. And If You Didn't Ask Me, I'd Still Have To Say It.

I Drink Coffee With My Right Hand, And I Smoke With My Left. But I Talk With Both Hands.

I Would Read Playboy More Often, But My Glasses Keep Steaming Up.