There Are Many Ways To

First You Forget Names, Then You Forget Faces. Next You Forget To Pull Your Zipper Up And Finally, You Forget To Pull It Down.

People Are Always Asking Me When I'm Going To Retire. Why Should I? I've Got It Two Ways - I'm Still Making Movies, And I'm A Senior Citizen, So I Can See Myself At Half Price.

When They Saw Me Walking Down The Street Smoking A Cigar, They'd Say, 'hey, That 14-year-old Kid May Be Going Places.' Of Course It's Also A Good Prop On The Stage ... When You Can't Think Of What You're Supposed To Say Next, You Can Puff On Your Cigar Until You Think Of Your Next Line.

Let Me Get One Thing Straight; I'm Not An Authority On Sex, I'm More Of A Fan. I Think Sex Is Nice; No Family Should Be Without It. Of Course, There Are Other Things That Are Just As Important As Sex, Like Uh . . . Like Uh . . . Like . . . Uh . . . Well, I'll Think Of It Later.

I'm Very Pleased To Be Here. Let's Face It, At My Age I'm Very Pleased To Be Anywhere.