When I Was 3 Years

I Came From A Real Tough Neighborhood. Once A Guy Pulled A Knife On Me. I Knew He Wasn't A Professional, The Knife Had Butter On It.

I'm At The Age Where Food Has Taken The Place Of Sex In My Life. In Fact, I've Just Had A Mirror Put Over My Kitchen Table.

Last Time I Saw A Mouth Like That, It Had A Hook In It.

When I Played In The Sandbox, The Cat Kept Covering Me Up.

My Wife Is So Fat That The Last Time I Saw Something That Big It Was Grazing.