People Seldom Live Up To

With My Wife I Don't Get No Respect. I Made A Toast On Her Birthday To 'the Best Woman A Man Ever Had.' The Waiter Joined Me.

I Asked My Old Man If I Could Go Ice-skating On The Lake. He Told Me, "wait Til It Gets Warmer."

My Kid Wants To Be A Prison Warden When He Grows Up So He Can Put Thumb Tacks On The Electric Chairs.

My Wife Only Has Sex With Me For A Purpose. Last Night It Was To Time An Egg.

My Old Man Never Liked Me. He Gave Me My Allowance In Traveler's Checks.