All These Years I've Sat

Changing A Diaper Is A Lot Like Getting A Present From Your Grandmother - You're Not Sure What You've Got But You're Pretty Sure You're Not Going To Like It.

You Might Be A Redneck If You Can't Get Married To Your Sweetheart Because There Is A Law Against It.

I Love Comedy. God Has Given Me This Platform.

If Most People Wanted To Be Incognito, They Put On A Fake Beard Or Mustache. If I Wanted To I'd Just Shave Mine Off.

All These Years I've Sat In Airports And Kind Of Drawn People And Put Like Far Side Captions On Them.