I Love Comedy. God Has

My Grandma's The Most Careful, Safe Driver In The World. You Put Her In A Rental Car, And She's Doing Doughnuts In The K-mart Parking Lot!

I've Got Keys To Crap I've Never Owned. You Put All My Keys Together I Could Be A High School Janitor Tonight.

People Would Say, Can We Develop A Sitcom Around You? And I Would Say, Not Interested. I'm Very Happy Doing Standup And Writing And Taking My Kids To School.

You Might Be A Redneck If A Full-grown Ostrich Has Fewer Feathers Than Your Cowboy Hat.

You Might Be A Redneck If Directions To Your House Include Turn Off The Paved Road.