A Travel Agent Told I

This Morning When I Put On My Underwear I Could Hear The Fruit-of-the-loom Guys Laughing At Me.

I Told My Psychiatrist That Everyone Hates Me. He Said I Was Being Ridiculous - Everyone Hasn't Met Me Yet.

The Shape I'm In, I Could Donate My Body To Science Fiction.

I Went To See My Doctor... Doctor Vidi-boom-ba. Yeah...i Told Him Once, "doctor, Every Morning When I Get Up And Look In The Mirror I Feel Like Throwing Up. What's Wrong With Me?" He Said, "i Don't Know, But Your Eyesight Is Perfect."

She Was Old Too, When She Went To School They Didn't Have History.