When I Was Born I

On Halloween, The Parents Sent Their Kids Out Looking Like Me.

She Was So Ugly That I Took Her To A Dog Show And She Won First Prize.

When I Was Born The Doctor Took One Look At My Face, Turned Me Over And Said, "look, Twins!"

Every Time I Get In An Elevator, The Operator Says The Same Thing To Me: 'basement?'

Boy Is My Wife Stupid. It Takes Her And Hour And A Half To Watch 60 Minutes. My Daughters No Bargain Either. In Public School She Was Voted Most Likely To Conceive.