She Was So Ugly That

I Told My Dentist My Teeth Are Going Yellow. He Told Me To Wear A Brown Tie.

I'm A Bad Lover. Once I Caught A Peeping Tom Booing Me.

I Knew A Girl So Ugly That She Was Known As A Two-bagger. That's When You Put A Bag Over Your Head In Case The Bag Over Her Head Breaks.

I'm A Bisexual; I Get It Maybe Twice A Year.

I Like Southern Girls. They Talk So Slow That By The Time They Say No, I Made It Already.