You Know You're Ugly When

Everyone Says That Looks Don't Matter, Age Doesn't Matter, Money Doesn't Matter. But I Never Met A Girl Yet Who Has Fallen In Love With An Old Ugly Man Who's Broke.

I Told My Wife 'hey Honey Come On, Let's Make Love Like The Old Days.' She Asked Me For 50 Bucks.

I'm A Bad Lover. Once I Caught A Peeping Tom Booing Me.

My Mother Used To Rock Me - And She Used Big Rocks.

You Take Care And I Hope I'll Run Into You - When I'm Driving.