I'm Not A Sexy Guy.

I Come From A Stupid Family. My Uncle Heard That Most Deaths Occurs Within Ten Miles Of The House...so He Moved.

I Went To A Gay Bar, They Wanted Proof Of Sex So I Showed Them, They Said It Wasn't Enough.

In High School, When I Played Football I Got No Respect. I Shared A Locker With A Mop.

When I Was Born ... The Doctor Came Out To The Waiting Room And Said To My Father ... I'm Very Sorry. We Did Everything We Could ... But He Pulled Through.

It Was The Same Thing In The Army, No Respect. They Gave Me A Uniform That Glowed In The Dark.