Last Time I Saw A

My Wife Can't Cook At All. She Made Chocolate Mousse. An Antler Got Stuck In My Throat.

After I Got Divorced, I Said To Myself, I Will Never, Ever Get Married Again. It Was In Cement. I Went Through A Really Rough Twenty-five Years, But It Happened Again. I Fell In Love. I Told Her, Baby, I Don't Want A Prenuptial Agreement. This Is It. Everyone Told Me I Was Nuts. Well, My New Wife And I Are Married Six Years And We Get Along Great. You Can Make Anything Work If You're Both Givers.

Last Halloween A Kid Tried To Rip My Face Off. He Thought It Was A Mask. Now It's Different When I Open The Door The Kids Hand Me Candy.

I Haven't Spoken To My Wife In Years. I Didn't Want To Interrupt Her.

When We Got Married My Wife Told Me I Was One In A Million. I Found Out She Was Right.