You Gotta Make Your Own

If I Was To Have Sex With One Animal It Would Be A Horse. That Is A Beautiful Animal. And When You Have Sex With A Horse, You Know You Always Have A Ride Home.

I Used To Do Drugs, But That Was Way Back There.

I Smoke So Much. Three Packs A Day... I Went To The Bathroom, A Camel Came Out Of My Ass.

I Don't Think I'm A Star Or A Celebrity Or Any Thing Like That.

I Keep Getting These People At My Shows Who Only Know Me From Television. I Can Always Tell When They're, Like, Emotionally Flinching When I Start Doing My Jokes.