My Cousin Had A Baby

Every Dude In Here Has Had A Fantasy About Jessica Simpson. Here's Mine: Jessica, Hold Your Sister Ashlee So I Can Kick Her In The Throat.

Have You Seen That Magazine Barely Legal? That Means When You Look At It, You're Almost A Pedophile.

If You Go To Germany And Get Drunk, At Some Point You Will Try To Look Up Hitler In The Phone Book.

Next Time Your Lady Leaves The Room, Take A Dump On The Floor! 'cuz There Is Nothing More Mysterious Than A Dump On The Floor! And It Always Starts A Conversation, Am I Right? Honey, What Happened? You Better Hold Me 'cause I'm Afraid.

Men Are Having Sex With Animals And We Wonder Why The Animals Attack Us. And I'll Tell You Why: It's Cuz Of That One Sick Man, And It's Up To Me And A Half-mexican To Stop Him.