Went To The Corner Shop

A Jump Lead Walks Into A Bar. The Barman Says "i'll Serve You, But Don't Start Anything."

So A Lorry-load Of Tortoises Crashed Into A Train-load Of Terrapins, I Thought "that's A Turtle Disaster".

I Went To The Dentist. He Said "say Aaah." I Said "why?" He Said "my Dog's Died."

So A Man Jumps Into A Taxi And Says "king Arthur's Close" And The Taxi Driver Says, "don't Worry We'll Lose Him At The Next Lights".

I'm On A Whisky Diet. I've Lost 3 Days Already.