The 96+ W. S. Gilbert Quotes

I Am The Very Model Of A Modern Major General

What Though I Cannot Meet My Bills? What Though I Suffer Toothache's Ills? What Though I Swallow Countless Pills?

Society Has Quite Forsaken All Her Wicked Courses, Which Empties Our Police Courts, And Abolishes Divorces.

On My Face Extended Flat I Was Walloped With A Cat For Listening At The Key-hole Of The Door.

Who Knows But We May Count Among Our Intellectual Chickens Like Them An Earl Of Thackeray And P'raps A Duke Of Dickens

See How The Fates Their Gifts Allot, For A Is Happy-b Is Not. Yet B Is Worthy, I Dare Say, Of More Prosperity Than A.

Bind Up Their Wounds - But Look The Other Way.

I Shall Carry To The Catacombs Of Age, Photographically Lined On The Tablet Of My Mind

If I Can Wheedle A Knife Or A Needle, Why Not A Silver Churn?

Oh, I Am A Cook And A Captain Bold, And The Mate Of The Nancybrig, And A Bos'sun Tight, And A Midshipmite, And The Crew Of The Captain's Gig!

I See No Objection To Stoutness, In Moderation.

All Bayonets Are Bad.