Sure I Smoked Pot In

When I Was A Kid I Got No Respect. My Mother Breast Fed Me Through A Straw.

Yeah, I Know I'm Ugly... I Said To A Bartender, 'make Me A Zombie.' He Said 'god Beat Me To It.'

Everyone Says That Looks Don't Matter, Age Doesn't Matter, Money Doesn't Matter. But I Never Met A Girl Yet Who Has Fallen In Love With An Old Ugly Man Who's Broke.

When I Was A Kid I Got No Respect. I Told My Mother, I'm Gonna Run Away From Home. She Said, On Your Mark.

I Asked My Old Man If I Could Go Ice-skating On The Lake. He Told Me, "wait Til It Gets Warmer."