One Night I Came Home.

I Got Myself Good This Morning Too. I Did My Pushups In The Nude, I Didn't See The Mouse Trap.

I Live In A Bad Neighborhood. Why, I Saw Two Complete Strangers Share A Taxi - Yeah, One Guy Took The Radio And The Other Guy Took The Tires.

I Shouldn't Tell Jokes About My Wife. She's Attached To A Machine That Keeps Her Alive... The Refrigerator.

There's Only One Thing Wrong With My Wife's Face - It Shows.

I Say 'no' To Drugs. Whenever Someone Asks Me For Some Of My Drugs I Say, 'no.