I Asked My Wife If

Last Time I Tried To Make Love To My Wife Nothing Happened, So I Said To Her, 'what's The Matter, You Can't Think Of Anybody Either?'

When I Told My Wife She Was Lousy In Bed - She Went Out - She Got A Second Opinion.

We Were Poor. We Were So Poor, In My Neighborhood The Rainbow Was In Black-and-white.

If You Can't Write Your Own Material, You Have Very Little Chance Of Making It As A Comedian.

Oh, I Was An Ugly Kid. My Old Man Took Me To The Zoo. They Thanked Him For Returning Me.