My Wife Only Has Sex

This Morning When I Put On My Underwear I Could Hear The Fruit-of-the-loom Guys Laughing At Me.

Oh, I Was An Ugly Kid. My Old Man Took Me To The Zoo. They Thanked Him For Returning Me.

With Girls, I Don't Think Right. I Had A Date With One Girl, She Had Mirrors All Over Her Bedroom. She Told Me To Come Over And Bring A Bottle. I Got Windex.

When I Go To A Nude Beach, I Always Take A Ruler, Just In Case I Have To Prove Something.

I Told My Doctor I Got Water On My Knee, He Gave Me A Sponge And Raised His Fee!