My Wife Only Has Sex

My Family Was A Bunch Of Drunks. When I Was Six I Came Up Missing, They Put My Picture On A Bottle Of Scotch.

At Christmas Time I Sat On Santa's Lap. His Fly Was Open ! Boy What A Present He Gave Me !

For Two Hours, Some Guy Followed Me Around With A Pooper Scooper.

My Parents Didn't Like Me. For Bathtub Toys They Gave Me A Blender And A Transistor Radio.

...went To A Bar For A Few Drinks. The Bartender Asked What I Wanted. "surprise Me", I Said. So He Showed Me A Naked Picture Of My Wife.