My Wife And I Keep

I Told My Doctor I Think My Wife Has Vd. He Gave Himself A Shot Of Penicillin.

My Father Carries Around The Picture Of The Kid Who Came With His Wallet.

They Took A Survey: Why Do Men Get Up In The Middle Of The Night? Ten Percent Get Up To Go To The Bathroom And 90 Percent Get Up To Go Home.

I Told My Wife 'hey Honey Come On, Let's Make Love Like The Old Days.' She Asked Me For 50 Bucks.

When I Got Back Into Show Business In 1961, I Felt - For Obvious Reasons - That Nothing In My Life Went Right, And I Realized That Millions Of People Felt The Same Way. So When I First Came Back My Catch Phrase Was "nothing Goes Right." Early On, That Was My Setup For A Lot Of Jokes.