My Wife And I Keep

Yeah, I Know I'm Ugly... I Said To A Bartender, 'make Me A Zombie.' He Said 'god Beat Me To It.'

You Wanna Have Laughs? Do What I Do. When I Go Through A Tollbooth, I Keep Going. I Tell The Guy, The Car Behind Me Is Paying For Two.

I Got Myself Good This Morning Too. I Did My Pushups In The Nude, I Didn't See The Mouse Trap.

I Once Met A Beautiful, Proper English Girl. I Bid Her Adieu.... She Bid Me A Don't.

With My Doctor, I Don't Get No Respect. I Told Him I Want A Vasectomy. He Said With A Face Like Mine, I Don't Need One.