My Wife Gives Good Headache.

I Went To A Gay Bar, They Wanted Proof Of Sex So I Showed Them, They Said It Wasn't Enough.

I Told My Doctor I Wonna Stop Aging, He Gave Me A Gun!

My Wife Has To Be The Worst Cook. I've Got The Only Dog Who Begs For Alka-seltzer.

I Don't Get No Respect. I Called Suicide Prevention. They Tried To Talk Me Into It.

I'm Getting So Old My Insurance Company Sends Me 1/2 A Calendar!