My Mother Used To Rock

I Asked My Wife, 'on A Scale Of 1 To 10, How Do You Rate Me As A Lover?' She Said, 'you Know I'm No Good At Fractions.'

What A Childhood I Had. My Parents Sent Me To A Child Psychiatrist. The Kid Didn't Help Me At All.

I've Never Been Lucky. The Day My Ship Came In, I Was At The Airport.

The Sign On The Bar Said: 'girls- Topless, Bottomless', I Went Inside And There Was Nobody There!

I Haven't Spoken To My Wife In Years. I Didn't Want To Interrupt Her.