I'd Love To Slit My

My Plastic Surgeon ... Said My Face Looked Like A Bouquet Of Elbows.

Old Age Is When The Liver Spots Show Through Your Gloves.

Oh, That Dog! Ever Hear Of A German Shepherd That Bites Its Nails? Barks With A Lisp? You Say, "attack!" And He Has One. All He Does Is Piddle. He's Nothing But A Fur-covered Kidney That Barks.

I Asked My Hairdresser What Would Look Good On Me. She Says A Los Angeles Rams Football Helmet.

Women Want Men, Careers, Money, Children, Friends, Luxury, Comfort, Independence, Freedom, Respect, Love, And A Three-dollar Pantyhose That Won't Run.