I Learned To Play The

When An Opera Star Sings Her Head Off? She Usually Improves Her Appearance.

In My Youth, I Wanted To Be A Great Pantomimist -- But I Found I Had Nothing To Say.

What Soap Is To The Body, Laughter Is To The Soul. Laughter Is The Shortest Distance Between Two People.

When I Was A Little Boy And Played Liebestraum, My Father Used To Hit Me On The Head With A Newspaper Every Time I Slopped The Cadenza . . . I Hate Liebestraum.

Mendelssohn Never Wrote Any Water Music. However, He Wrote The Scotch Symphony, Which Is Even Better, Or At Least Stronger.