When An Opera Star Sings

And Now, In Honour Of The 150th Anniversary Of Beethoven's Death, I Would Like To Play 'clear The Saloon', Er, 'clair De Lune', By Debussy. I Don't Play Beethoven So Well, But I Play Debussy Very Badly, And Beethoven Would Have Liked That.

In My Youth, I Wanted To Be A Great Pantomimist -- But I Found I Had Nothing To Say.

Many People Have Asked Me Why There Are Three Pedals In These Grand Pianos. Well The Pedal In The Middle Is There To Separate The Two Other Pedals.

...the Elephant Smoked Too Much.

Clarinets, Like Lawyers, Have Cases, Mouthpieces, And They Need A Constant Supply Of Hot Air In Order To Function.