I Only Know Two Pieces;

What Soap Is To The Body, Laughter Is To The Soul. Laughter Is The Shortest Distance Between Two People.

I Don't Mind Going Back To Daylight Saving Time. With Inflation, The Hour Will Be The Only Thing I've Saved All Year.

Many People Have Asked Me Why There Are Three Pedals In These Grand Pianos. Well The Pedal In The Middle Is There To Separate The Two Other Pedals.

There Is A Bit Of Hans Christian Andersen In Every Dane.

How Nice. Now The Germans Can Sleep In Peace, Knowing That They Will Not Be Invaded By Us.