Well, All's Fair In Love,

One Afternoon, When I Was Four Years Old, My Father Came Home, And He Found Me In The Living Room In Front Of A Roaring Fire, Which Made Him Very Angry. Because We Didn't Have A Fireplace.

(responding To A Sneeze From The Audience) Who Exploded?

The Oboe Sounds Like A Clarinet With A Cold.

My Father Invented A Cure For Which There Was No Disease And Unfortunately My Mother Caught It And Died Of It.

Laughter Is The Closest Distance Between Two People.