I Hate Smart Sales Clerks.

Never Refer To Your Wedding Night As The Original Amateur Hour.

I Serve Dinner In Three Phases: Serve The Food, Clear The Table, Bury The Dead.

Most Children Threaten At Times To Run Away From Home. This Is The Only Thing That Keeps Some Parents Going.

Have You Ever Known Anyone Who Bought A Fruitcake For Himself? Of Course Not. They Are Purchased As Christmas Gifts, Mostly For People You Don't Particularly Like.

The Only Thing My Husband And I Have In Common Is That We Were Married On The Same Day.