I Got Kicked Out Of

My Mother Was The Worst Cook Ever. In School, When We Traded Lunches, I Had To Throw In An Article Of Clothing.

Neurotics Build Castles In The Air, Psychotics Live In Them. My Mother Cleans Them.

I Rationalize Shop. I Buy A Dress Because I Need Change For Gum.

Men Like Phones With Lots Of Buttons. It Makes Them Feel Important.

I Love Being Married. It's So Great To Find That One Special Person You Want To Annoy For The Rest Of Your Life.