I Love Being Married. It's

Before I Met My Husband, I'd Never Fallen In Love. I'd Stepped In It A Few Times.

I Have A Hold Limit That I've Set For Myself. I Hold Until I Start To Imagine Myself Killing The Person On The Other End. Then I Hang Up And Regroup.

My Father Was Never Very Friendly. When I Was Growing Up, I Thought The Doorbell Ringing Was A Signal To Pretend You Weren't Home.

If You Buy Your Husband Or Boyfriend A Video Camera, For The First Few Weeks He Has It, Lock The Door When You Go To The Bathroom. Most Of My Husband's Early Films End With A Scream And A Flush.

A Man Will Go To War, Fight And Die For His Country. But He Won't Get A Bikini Wax.