I Figured Out I'm Bisexual.

My Son's An Idiot. He Sprained His Ankle Playing Golf. He Fell Off The Ballwasher.

I Remember I Was So Depressed I Was Going To Jump Out A Window On The Tenth Floor; They Sent A Priest Up To Talk To Me And He Said, ' On Your Mark...'

Guy Goes Into A Bar With A Duck Under His Arm. Bartender Says, "where'd You Get The Pig?" Guy Says, "this Is A Duck." Bartender Says, "i Was Talking To The Duck."

Last Time I Saw A Mouth Like That, It Had A Hook In It.

When I Told My Wife She Was Lousy In Bed - She Went Out - She Got A Second Opinion.