How Nice. Now The Germans

When I Was A Little Boy And Played Liebestraum, My Father Used To Hit Me On The Head With A Newspaper Every Time I Slopped The Cadenza . . . I Hate Liebestraum.

(referring To The Piano's Natural Shape) Isn't It A Shame When Those Big Fat Opera Singers Lean Against The Pianos And Bend Them?

Mendelssohn Never Wrote Any Water Music. However, He Wrote The Scotch Symphony, Which Is Even Better, Or At Least Stronger.

I Only Know Two Pieces; One Is 'clair De Lune' And The Other One Isn't.

One Afternoon, When I Was Four Years Old, My Father Came Home, And He Found Me In The Living Room In Front Of A Roaring Fire, Which Made Him Very Angry. Because We Didn't Have A Fireplace.