Comedy = Tragedy + Time.

You Do Have To Love Your Kids Enough To Let Them Hate You. But It's The Disease That's Hating You, Not Them.

Daddy, When He Drank, Just Became Sweeter. There Wasn't A Mean Thought In His Body. I've Always Said He Was Like A Drunk Jimmy Stewart.

My Grandmother And I Saw An Average Of Eight Movies A Week, Double Features, Second Run.

If You Want To Know The Feeling [of Labor Pain], Just Take Your Bottom Lip And Pull It Over Your Head.

No One Ever Said Life Was Fair. Just Eventful.