Zero, Zero Belief In Myself.

Until I Started Doing Standup, There Were Some Very Bleak Days.

I Still Think Of That Guy I Was Without A Wife Or Kids, And I Still Want To Entertain That Guy. The Lonely Guy, The Frustrated Guy, The Guy With No Money - This Is The Guy Who Needs To Laugh.

Did Bill Clinton Actually Think That He Could Get Blow Jobs From A Jewish Woman And There Would Be No Consequences?

I Was Planning On My Future As A Homeless Person. I Had A Really Good Spot Picked Out.

I'm Larry David. I Happen To Enjoy Wearing Women's Panties.