You're Like A Tornado Of

You Worry Too Much. Eat Some Bacon...what? No, I Got No Idea If It'll Make You Feel Better, I Just Made Too Much Bacon.

I Kind Of Came To The Conclusion After I Did Finally Get Married That Love And Relationships Are Just A Series Of Horrific Losses With Hopefully One Win.

There Is No Definitive Guidebook On How To Pick The Right Partner, And Even If There Were, I'm Way Too Dumb To Write It.

You Say You’re Sick, Huh? Well, It Looks Like You’ve Come Down With A Case Of Bullshit.

On My Last-place Finish In The 50-yard Dash During Little League Tryouts “it Kinda Looked Like You Were Being Attacked By A Bunch Of Bees Or Something. Then When I Saw The Fat Kid With The Watch Who Was Timing You Start Laughing…. Well, I’ll Just Say It’s Never A Good Sign When A Fat Kid Laughs At You.