You Know You're Old If

Any Time Three New Yorkers Get Into A Cab Without An Argument, A Bank Has Just Been Robbed.

Oh, That Dog! Ever Hear Of A German Shepherd That Bites Its Nails? Barks With A Lisp? You Say, "attack!" And He Has One. All He Does Is Piddle. He's Nothing But A Fur-covered Kidney That Barks.

My Eight-year-old Bought A Bicycle With The Money He Saved By Not Smoking.

Would You Believe That I Once Entered A Beauty Contest? I Must Have Been Out Of My Mind. I Not Only Came In Last, I Got 361 Get-well Cards.

My Father Used To Call Me The Laughing Hyena.