Would You Believe That I

The Last Thing My Kids Ever Did To Earn Money Was Lose Their Baby Teeth.

The Constants All Through The Centuries Will Be The Same; Wine, Women And Song. Other Than That, Life Will Be Very Different Technologically. In The Year 3000 The Universe Will Be Expanding As It Will Forever, Infinitely. We Will Probe Outer Space But Never Find Life As Evolutionized As Ours. We Were Not Created By A Deity. We Created The Deity In Our Image. Life Began On This Planet When The First Amoeba Split. Mankind Will Still Be Seeking God, Not Accepting That God Is A Spirit; Can't See It, Touch It, Only Feel It. It's Called Love.

Absolutely Nothing Was Happening In My Marriage. I Nicknamed My Waterbed, Lake Placid!

My Plastic Surgeon ... Said My Face Looked Like A Bouquet Of Elbows.

He Has So Many Muscles He Has To Make An Appointment To Move His Fingers.