Writer's Block Is A Phony,

I Like Staying In Hotels. I Like Their Tiny Soap. I Like To Pretend It's Regular-sized And My Muscles Are Huge.

I Don't Want To Hear The Specials. If They're So Special, Put 'em On The Menu.

I Wonder If Illiterate People Get The Full Effect Of Alphabet Soup?

I Was In The Drug Store The Other Day Trying To Get A Cold Medication...not Easy. There's An Entire Wall Of Products You Need. You Stand There Going,"well, This One Is Quick Acting But This Is Long Lasting...which Is More Important, The Present Or The Future?"

You Know, Crankiness Is At The Essence Of All Comedy.