When I Was A Kid,

I Once Heard Two Ladies Going On And On About The Pains Of Childbirth And How Men Don't Seem To Know What Real Pain Is. I Asked If Either Of Them Ever Got Themselves Caught In A Zipper.

He Taught Me Never To Smile, Which Helps Me When I Visit Disaster Sites.

Women: You Can't Live With Them, And You Can't Get Them To Dress Up In A Skimpy Little Nazi Costume And Beat You With A Warm Squash Or Something.

Back In High School, My Buddies Tried To Put The Make On Anything That Moved. I Told Them, Why Limit Yourselves?

In Our School You Were Searched For Guns And Knifes On The Way In And If You Didn't Have Any, They Gave You Some.