He Taught Me Never To

Cell Phones Are Like A Dog's Nipples... You Don't Have To Shout Into Them!

I Think The Whole Concept Of Monotheism Is A Gift From The Gods.

I Always Wanted A Beautiful Loving Wife And She Always Wanted To Be A Citizen.

I Was At A Bar Nursing A Beer. My Nipple Was Getting Quite Soggy.

I Got A Letter From The Irs. Apparently I Owe Them $800. So I Sent Them A Letter Back. I Said, If You'll Remember, I Fastened My Return With A Paper Clip, Which According To Your Very Own Latest Government Pentagon Spending Figures Will More Than Make Up For The Difference.