I Was At A Bar

A Mormon Told Me That They Don't Drink Coffee. I Said, "a Cup Of Coffee Every Day Gives You Wonderful Benefits." He Said, "like What?" I Said, "well, It Keeps You From Being Mormon ..."

My Computer Beat Me At Checkers, But I Sure Beat It At Kickboxing.

I Was Feeling A Bit Down, I Went To A Therapist A Few Times, At A Hundred Bucks A Pop. But Then I Realized That No Therapy Session Would Ever Cheer Me Up Half As Much As If I Was Just Strolling Along And Found A Hundred Dollar Bill.

My Parents Were Very Protective. I Couldn't Even Cross The Street Without Them Getting All Excited, And Placing Bets.

I Like To Play Chess With Bald Men In The Park Although It's Hard To Find 32 Of Them.