When I Was A Boy,

I Had A Paper Route When I Was A Kid. I Was Supposed To Go To 2,000 Houses. Or Two Dumpsters.

I Was Booked Into The Riviera Hotel In Las Vegas With Three Other Comedians. We All Were Using The Riviera In-house Shampoo, So We All Had Equal Shine And Bounce.

If You Had A Friend Who Was A Tightrope Walker, And You Were Walking Down A Sidewalk, And He Fell, That Would Be Completely Unacceptable.

I Went To A Tent Store. "what Kind Of Tent Do You Need?" "circus."

When You Put Listerine In Your Mouth, It Hurts. Germs Do Not Go Quietly.