When I Stopped Drinking, It

I Have A Deep And Profound Mistrust Of All Politicians.

I Am Probably A Pseudo-intellectual.

Valentine's Day Is Celebrated A Little Differently Here In L.a. Nobody Eats Chocolate Because Of The Calories, So People Give Each Other Tofu-shaped Boxes Filled With Bean Curd. Then They Fantasize About What Their Pilates Instructor Would Be Like If He Was Straight.

Sober Alkies Are Often Asked: "when Did You Hit Rock Bottom?" But A More Informed Question Might Be: "how Many Times Did You Hit Rock Bottom?

The Bible Has Been Through At Least Half A Dozen Translations By The Time You Read It. Plus, When The Word Of God Is Infected By The Hand Of Man, That Is, Written Down, It Is Tainted.