What A Childhood I Had

My Parents Didn't Like Me. For Bathtub Toys They Gave Me A Blender And A Transistor Radio.

I Told My Wife The Truth. I Told Her I Was Seeing A Psychiatrist. Then She Told Me The Truth: That She Was Seeing A Psychiatrist, Two Plumbers, And A Bartender.

Oh, I Was An Ugly Kid. My Old Man Took Me To The Zoo. They Thanked Him For Returning Me.

I'm Getting So Old My Insurance Company Sends Me 1/2 A Calendar!

Boy What A Hotel That Was, Why They Stole My Towel.