We Have Two Kinds Of

A Two-pound Turkey And A Fifty-pound Cranberry-that's Thanksgiving Dinner At Three Mile Island.

I Know You've Been Married To The Same Woman For 69 Years. That Is Marvelous. It Must Be Very Inexpensive.

I Don't Think It's You That Changes With Success - It's The People Around You Who Change. Because Of Your New Status, They Change In Relation To You.

I Hated My Last Boss. He Asked, Why Are You Two Hours Late? I Said, I Fell Downstairs. He Said, That Doesn't Take Two Hours.

Maybe We Should Hold The Next [olympic] Games In Afghanistan And Hope The Soviets Pull Out Of That One Too.