I Have An Ego Like

If God Didn't Want Man To Hunt, He Wouldn't Have Given Us Plaid Shirts.

I'm An Entertainer, Not A Commentator. If You're A Comedian Your Job Is To Make People Laugh.

People Are Hypocrites. If You Ask Them What They Want To See On Tv, They'll Tell You They Want Better Quality Programming. And Then What Do They Watch? 'gilligan's Island.'

Happiness Is Having A Rare Steak, A Bottle Of Whiskey, And A Dog To Eat The Rare Steak.

You Become Successful, The Way I See It, Only If You're Good Enough To Deliver What The Public Enjoys. If You're Not, You Won't Have Any Audience; So The Performer Really Has More To Do With His Success Than The Public Does.